d’skeeters n’d’ bees

BY Craig Hubley

Read out loud. You’ll get it right on your second or third try…

twonce pohna toime
twas skeeters roamed free
tweren’t no crops
‘n tweren’t no bee

skeeters poll-in-oi-ted
da’ few nay-tive flowers
‘n suckt up t’blood
as d’ woild-life cowers

tweren’t much here
but dey awwll lived good
cuz dey wozn’t jealous
‘n no one had good food

den come t’bees
‘n t’swamps fill’ in
‘n t’new crops grew
needin’ poll-in-ay-shun

a lot more horses
meant a lot more blood
so all lived better
’til d’fish ran owt

wit’ all dat land
growin’ crops not critter
‘n’deir swamps filled in
some skeeters got bitter

“dem bees took our jobs
polloinatin’ dem crops
dem horses ‘s gone
so we got less blood”

“widout d’fish dere’s
fewer out ‘n boats
‘n we can’t get dem
‘cuz dey got good coats”

dey had much more
dan dey had in d’day
yet so many resented
d’ “Come-From-Away”

dem bees, dey said,
made dem look like crud:
“them workin’ so hard,
‘n suckin’ no blood”

“and dem humans”, said dey,
“growin’ strange new crops
from Spain and Japan
which bees like but we do not”

d’ humans moved on
‘n few played skeeter
dey were mostly like d’bees
or t’seal or t’beaver

quite a few adapted
farmin’ eels or scallop
sellin’ ’em to Tokyo
fore a fat cash wallop

quite a few more
realized dey woz rich
dem “weeds” in t’garden
bein’ herbs to cook with

dere was stuff t’eat
dat never dey dreamed
fried dandelion flowers
‘n fresh beach greens

“we’s richer dan we were
in d’Bluenose I days
‘n’even three-ton rudders
won’t make us lose our way”

even dem what chose
to abandon deir homes
could get out in style
‘cuz of C-F-A loans

so we kept just d’best
dem wit’ helpin’ hands
‘n lost d’disgruntled
t’ far west wastelands

but still a few
took deir cue from a skeeter
‘n not from d’bee
‘n not from d’beaver

just a few skeeters left
talkin’ gossip ‘n trash
resentin’ dem folks
wot happened here last

now y’kin choose t’be a bee
or choose t’be a beaver
y’kin choose t’be an otter
or t’be none neither

but if y’cain’t stop trashin’
folks just for where they’re from
den yer still playin’ skeeter
so expect d’ slap-‘n’-run!

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